Into the darkness. Finding light.

This past month has been really interesting for me. I can honestly say it’s been unlike any other month in my entire life. If I picked one starting point, for when things really started getting interesting in my life, it would be my weekend in Charleston.

I went to Charleston to hear one of my favorite poets and speakers, and to spend time with two quality women. This was about one month ago. These two women are moms, with kids older than mine, who are true friends to me. [My definition of “friend” derives from the great John O’Donahue: a friend is someone who wants for you what is good.]

Very quickly, it was clear that the genesis for the trip – the poet – while magnificent and hilarious and Irish, was not quite the teacher for me, anymore. We sat in a gorgeous old church, on Friday night, listening to him, and I just kept spacing out.

The girls felt similarly. It became clear that the main attraction was really just spending time with each other.

And, something else.

So, the next morning we three decided to skip the morning talk in favor of hanging out together, and… doing some yoga.

I have always been what I call “a body person,” which is so vague. What I mean is that if I am not taking care of my body (like, exercising through conscious movement, eating healthy food, getting rest), my entire life falls apart. Sometimes “taking care of my body” means eating buttery eggs and laying horizontal. Taking care of my body is not code for “getting or staying skinny.” It’s just listening to it. Trying to meet what it needs.

So when Meadow offered a yoga training unlike anything I’d ever heard of (this is before Charleston), I salivated. It was the best of yoga (my definition of “yoga” is connection: to yourself, your body) and the best of coaching. Because I am a coach and part of me will always be a coach. For me, it always comes back to the body (I don’t really know how else to work with clients but through working with the body). Her training sounded perfect. The best of yoga, the best of coaching – combined.

So here we are, together in Charleston. Training begins the following week. Meadow offered the morning to us, for this new yoga training work she’s been doing.

That morning, my entire life changed.

No exaggeration. I have worked as a professional coach since 2009. I’ve succeeded in my business, and I’ve failed in my business. I have worked and practiced and learned ALL that I could get my hands on to. Thought-work (changes unsupportive neural pathways) and the Sedona Method (releasing energy that does not serve you) and practicing meditation. And so much more.

But this was really different. It’s different because it works, and because rather than dealing with symptoms, it allows for actual healing. For seeing what actually is going on.

As I now work with women in this way, I see something very clearly: the body wants to heal itself.

And your body will not shut up until it is heard, and it is healed.

It’s like – you can run, and you can hide. But you cannot really live, until you get past where you’re stuck. Your body loves you too much to suppress as your main coping strategy.

This is why you need to do this work:

This past Sunday was the first Sunday that I can remember in my entire life where I felt just like a regular version of myself, on a regular day, and not full of inexplicable anxiety, panic and crisis.

Around 4pm on Sunday, I realized something. I realized that if I could only relive one day in my entire life, before I die, it would be that day.

Because I was finally experiencing freedom. And I’ve been thinking about this – what do I mean by “freedom”? A word that is thrown around a lot, and really overused. I mean “freedom” as in, I just felt present, accepting what is, on a day that is historically an 8 out of 10 (this is not normal, by the way – just so you know, in case this is you, too) on the crisis scale, for me.

That means: not worrying about what other people are thinking. Not worrying about Charles’s emotional state, or my work on Monday, or my parents, or his parents, or the future. Being in the place where I feel myself breathing. Feeling love for my baby. Feeling gratitude for my marriage. Just feeling comfortable feeling on the hardest day of the week, for me.

So, think about Your Thing That Is Your Thing.

It may be impossible to imagine your life without The Thing that has always plagued you (weight, anxiety, chronic pain).  Yes, I am talking to you, if:

…you have ever wondered if there is something that happened when you were a kid, or some other time, that you don’t remember. Or, you have been involved in self-actualizing work for years, decades, but still feel a yearning. Or if you’re stuck and no matter what you try, you stay stuck.

That Thing, my Thing, I’m actually working through. I’m getting healing. My body is healing us.

Why am I telling you this?

The point of me offering this story is to speak directly to the women (maybe the men, too, but I’m not sure, I have not worked with any, yet) who feel like I did. Like, you look back at journals from six years ago, and you’re kind of saying the same thing you say now. The same limiting thoughts come about your worth. The same disgust or discomfort about your body.

The bad news is that your Thing that is your Thing is not going to stop trying to get your attention, ever. But that is also the good news – your body knows that you can heal, you can move forward. I’m seeing it in my very own life.

So, that’s where my story ends, today. I get to be a relaxed, regular person more often. Everything finally makes sense. And I want that for you, too.

My time to work with you is limited because of my little one. I would love to see your face and spend time with you. Learn more and sign up here.


About Laurie Beard

just another person doing something she loves

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